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I'll just say this: nonbinary folks are not your thought experiment.

Hi yes, we exist, we're right here. If you're not nonbinary we don't need you ruminating on how our identities could possibly work and implying that they don't.

I don't give a fuck if you can't understand things about how our nonbinary genders or lack thereof work, keep it to yourself

"Can nonbinary people really be...?"

Yes. And no you are not allowed any further questions

"But how can gender...?

How about you just believe what we tell you about our own identities and stop talking

@RadiantEmber i get where you're coming from and that it can be frustrating when it feels like people are questioning your identity, but i really don't think "don't even think about it and definitely don't ask questions" is as good a position as you seem to think it is. how else are people supposed to learn?

@tifawt This is mostly in response to a particular type of question that inherently implies that we are strange or invalid. I'm especially open to people asking questions about their own experience of gender.

But I'm not okay with people asking like "how can nonbinary men or nonbinary women exist? That's ridiculous" or "well, could nonbinary people even exist without a binary?"

@tifawt oh and also like, the questions that bother me are not usually from people who actually want to learn.

It's when they ask a question, then argue with the responses and really the question was just an excuse to give an opinion about how some nonbinary thing is weird.

I really am addressing those "thought experiment" type questions by people who aren't nonbinary, but just want to muse about our existence.

@RadiantEmber I mean yeah, I don't disagree with anything you're saying, I just think the initial post was vague enough to be construed as including literally anyone who has questions about nonbinary ~gender, and "one's own experiences with being nb" is also a bit too too black and white. i don't see a problem with people who identify with a binary gender asking questions (as long as they're respectful, obviously). I unenthusiastically identified with my agab for the longest time because i genuinely had no idea nonbinary was a thing. and when i did a asked A Lot of questions. I don't think I could've come to that conclusion by myself.
Of course, I'm not implying here that the burden of educating anyone is on you, it never is and you're completely within your rights to you know, ignore it .nor am l implying that you *have* to give anyone the benefit of the doubt . I just find that "disbelief" isn't always malicious, people interact with new things differently.

@tifawt yeah it was vague, I was upset haha. But you're right and I do appreciate the opportunity to clarify.

I try to give more leeway to people who are just learning about this stuff, though it can still hurt so sometimes I try to avoid seeing it. But there's also people who keep bringing up the same questions only to argue with nonbinary people who reply

@RadiantEmber I am struggling with my own identity well enough, I don’t need help thanks

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