At the end of a bad day at work, riding my bike home in the dark and yelling, "Disappointed!" like Kevin Kline's character in A Fish Called Wanda.
US healthcare, gender (-) Show more
And OMG, I just found the website for the first of the dude psychiatrists and he has a VERY large hippy beard.
Which isn't to say that he might not be awesome and perfect but on first blush he does not look like a great fit for this punk rock kiddo.
US healthcare, gender (-) Show more
So, despite living in a the largest city in this area, I find that if I want to take my daughter to a psychiatrist rather than a therapist (as her doctor is now recommending) on my healthcare plan, my choices are: a dude in my city (one of 2), or driving to a town 30 miles away to see a woman.
And I keep having to feel grateful that I have health insurance at all.
Give this quote to anybody who has trouble with your gender fluidity Show more
"Within a metaphysical perspective the encounter with the androgyne has always been unavoidable. When the mind soars above names and forms, it must come to the point where sexual divisions are also bypassed....The androgyne is the symbol of supreme diety in most religious systems."
- Elemire Zolla, The Androgyne, Reconciliation of Male and Female, 1981
Ha! I think I won the acupuncture gift for my sweetie after all!
But I did not succumb to the allure of $100 off hot yoga.
I'm watching an online auction for a local charity, it closes in a couple of hours. Everything for bid is for a local business - a gift card or a meal or a massage or something.
I bid on a giftcard to the acupuncturist as a Christmas present for my spouse, who likes going there. I got outbid this morning and now I'm watching and thinking of other possible gifts. The major steal is the one month unlimited hot yoga pass (value $135, current bid $35) but that's a gift none of my family wants.
When I was 12, I was super convinced that I could figure out how to achieve world peace.
There had to be something shared that everyone wanted enough they would put down their hostilities and work towards. I felt like it was just there, just inside my heart and I could crack it open and solve this puzzle.
I wonder if that was my first real taste of compassion, a real physical craving that everyone be safe and free.
childhood sadness Show more
#amReading The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk and finding myself weeping during parts of it. He tells stories of different ways people work through their trauma. Befriending the inner exile, the part inside that carries the pain.
An image comes of small me: curled on a stuffed turtle, locked in my room for hours - my mom raging. Later, my 1st grade teacher locking me in a closet. Oh little me. 💚 And oh to all of the little exiles inside each of you too. 💚
work dorkiness (clarifying statement: absolutely nothing lewd implied) Show more
There's a pile of stuff in the hallway outside an old lab that's getting cleaned out and rehabbed for a new group.
There's a whole box of scintillation vials in the mess. As I pass a coworker who's rummaging through says, "Want some vials?"
Him: "Yeah, it's a vile proposition."
4pm, I don't cope super well with the cold but I like the shortness of the days in this season, very unpretentious
Mission Impossible adulting version:
Get potluck salad into backpack, ride bike to work, pick up car you left there 4 days ago, drive car (with bike in trunk) to the repair place, leave car, bike back to work. Call pharmacy to have emergency refill on kiddo's meds (who forgot to mention they were almost out.)
Go to work.
Most mornings it's hard to get out of bed. The sky is still dark, I pull on the same socks, same long underwear and fleece I wore for yesterday's dogwalk. The dog is poking her cold nose at me, hurrying me along. I'm up at this hour for begrudged love and obligation - no curiosity or craving of my own.
I'm not trying to inspirationally say dawn makes it all better or that beauty overcomes my reluctance.
Beauty is there whether I show up or not. I may as well notice.
Scheduling running tonight with a friend and she's trying to work around her wife's band practice, which she mistyped as "babe practice" and I can't stop lololololing
dental Show more
Due to a health insurance change I have to leave my beloved small-practice dentist of 8 years and go to a chain dental business.
I've put off making the appointment, but finally sucked it up and called. We went through all the normal intake questions and made an appointment. Then the person asked if there were any accommodations that would make my visit easier.
I have NEVER been asked that for any kind of appointment. What an important thing to ask! I hope to see this more and more. 💙
I have to admit, sometimes I like the quiet when WE stops federating and we just get to talk to each other. This is such a cool community and I'm hopeful today to get to know some of the new faces better.
For example I could probably do a better intro.
I'm a USian, in a small NE city, tech in a plant research lab and teach rock climbing. My family - 17 yo daughter, partner, dog - live in an urban eco-community. My partner is super keen to move us to MT once our kiddo is off to college - soon!
Yes I am wearing my new fleece embroidered with a logo from a tiger reserve in India that I curbpicked from a neighbor's trash pile (post-washing.)
And do I eagerly await the moment when someone mistakenly assumes I have worked at a tiger reserve in India? I do.
Last night I read there was a showing of blue sky paintings in a cafe downtown. I'd just heard this podcast: https://www.thisislovepodcast.com/episode-10-blue and for all my longing for light this winter, I also crave a blue sky.
We went and it was a small messy vegan cafe entertwined with a used book store and worker's rights center. I had tea and hummus and browsed a copy of Tensing Norgay's son's book https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/318756.Touching_My_Father_s_Soul and an acapella group sang doo-wop. It felt so fediversey and I wished you were all there.
Panel of stained glass - these weird cosmic trees go around the outside of the large window. I love the roots and the wavy arms and imagining the artist a long time ago making it that way for personal creative reasons.