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presentation goals - to appear so queer that when people see me they begin to question their own sexuality, gender identity, religious beliefs and the fundamental nature of reality

In a hypothetical world without the keyword `red`, what is your go-to debugging color?

Mine is now and forever `cornflowerblue`

I realize it's generally accepted that NYC's autumn was roughly two weekends ago and lasted for 4 days, but today my park finally smells like fallen leaves so now it's Fall for me.

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Half-Life 2 turns 15 today. Aphex Twin's Selected Ambient Works Volume II turned 25 this year. I made a chill ambient/tourism mod that combines them.
First release = first track, more later. Details on the mod's @itchio page.


Playing into the strengths of the GoldSrc engine, heavy emphasis is placed on the sounds of shuffling papers, soft lighting, and musty atmosphere. Behind you, your pet headcrab coos contentedly. The perfect balm for the anxious Millenial contemplating their place in the world.

5 stars, a masterpiece


Finally, lazy-day.bsp:

This free-form single player level sees you sitting at your desk in a crate-filled attic, subverting Half-Life's manic fever dream of crowbar-on-crate antagonism by tasking you to carefully pry open each lid to sort through their contents: old photos, childhood drawings, and your grandparents' letters.


The juxtaposition of gritty, crumbling, alien-infested Los Angeles, with the buoyent, definitely-a-former-slaveowner Colonel Sanders speaks to either a clueless or cynical design process. Uninspired gameplay is barely worth mentioning. The map's solitary application of branding whimsy recasts the shrink ray as a chicken ray and saves this otherwise dull map from 1-star infamy.

2 stars


Perhaps encouraged by the resurgence of "lo-fi" or "retro" gaming in popular culture, *KFC*, of all places, released this branded Duke Nukem 3D mod to middling fanfare and barely any marketing spend. Player sprites and decals become familiar fast food mascots and logos, yet the game's setting inexplicably remains unchanged.


"Turnb1t" is notable for its depth, in terms of both strategy and often-overlooked vertical space, becoming an overnight staple of tournament play. The experience is somewhat marred by having every surface textured in various low-resolution, non-tiling *ahegao* imagery, but not enough to keep it from being one of the decade's finest maps.

4 stars


Next up xv44_turnb1t.bsp:

The cryptic title of this push-style Team Fortress 2 map belies a masterfully executed dissertation on map flow and pacing. Thoughtfully placed asymmetries in design nudge conflict zones into ever-shifting spots on the map as the match progresses---bringing to mind the ordered psueorandomness of cellular autonama---without ever overtly benefiting a single team.


Was the world of Quake birthed whole and irredeemably evil into the universe, or was it assembled in pieces, each brick reflecting the flaws of its creators? Most diehard fans of this map eschew answering that question head-on in the deathmatch arena, in favor of congregating in an out-of-the-way wing of the map, where a bounty of health and armor spawns lend themselves to elaborate rocket jump competitions across high-flying architecture.

4 stars

As 2019 draws to a close, let's review the best and worst FPS maps in 1/8

Up first cathedral_pre1_dm.bsp:

The map's author reenvisions Quake's distinctive High Gothic hellscapes in a state of near-completion, much like a European cathedral, placing this map's deathmatch arena in the surrounding village that has grown into a bustling city to support its construction.

jess bees boosted
jess bees boosted

Anyone else find that different computer programming languages have different tactile feels? Not "feel" as in a metaphor for syntax or style, but the difference between tapping your fingernails on a ceramic plate and on latex-painted sheet rock. Or having different weights. And not, like, actually those literal touch sensory inputs, so maybe it is a metaphor after all. Wait, anyone feel this about spoken language too? Anyways, a tired has found me. how tf are y'all

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jess bees boosted

Sure old timey fairies were allergic to iron. The iron of chains, and swords, the things that bind and kill. I'm still allergic to that, but the weapons of the modern era are good ol fashioned united states currency. So I'm allergic to nickel. 🧚‍♂️

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Ah yes, my options are to destroy the planet conforming to the 2y upgrade cycle or sacrifice my personal security by running an unsupported phone, what a great choice

Local politics 

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