I'm very Tired™ of people who ask me "if you are too disabled to live alone, how can you take care of a child?"
"Unable to live alone" looks different for everyone. Parents can have help from the other parent(s) or other adults. "But how do you care for a child if you're so disabled?" shouldn't even be a question. Especially because it includes the assumption that I'm not REALLY disabled.
#disability #ableism #ActuallyAutistic #autistic #ADHD #parenting
@holyspiritomb
No, you totally don't. Successful parenting looks like a full rainbow of possibilities. I'm sorry you had to talk with someone stuck with such a natrow viewpoint.
@holyspiritomb Everyone is always talking shit about everyone else's parenting which is absurd because basically, as long as you don't smoke around the kids, and do your best to be loving and supportive, there is basically nothing that has been shown to really have a statistically significant impact on them.
We're all trying our best. I support you! I value you. You have nothing to prove to anyone.
@vector I mean have strong opinions about the best way to go about parenting (I agree with Alfie Kohn's book Unconditional Parenting, and I frequently encounter parenting styles in public that make me feel bad for the kids) but the idea that being disabled means being incapable of effective parenting needs to end yesterday.
@vector (Then again the parenting styles I'm critical of are ones where parents are failing to do their best to be loving and supportive, like shaming your kids to their faces and talking shit about them to other parents. Or scolding them for crying. Even if you think that your kid is crying for a silly or even selfish reason, you should still validate their feelings?)
I shouldn't have to bare my soul to strangers to prove that I'm both a competent parent and a disabled person who needs support from other people.