My wife tells me the hummingbirds like my feeders so much, they made a nest in our apple tree.
"I guess this makes you... *shades* ...a sugar daddy."
"I've been to a drunken LAN party, a family barbeque, and an anime convention, and that's the silliest thing about boobs I've heard shouted in a nearby room."
On Thursday, Arizona repealed a 1991 law banning teachers from suggesting there are safe ways to have gay sex, or portraying "homosexuality as a positive alternative life-style."
At least 6 other states have curriculum laws around LGBTQ issues.
I've heard some douchebags say having a father carry a baby (especially a daughter) is one of the most emasculating things you can imagine.
A sentiment that's rather cut off at the knees when said father is taking said daughter to the hardware store to buy 10-24 threaded rods for use in a Nerf rifle "not intended for users under age 14."
My phone has a hairline crack that wasn't there last night. Doesn't get much more Monday than that.
Holy crap, stick some googly eyes on this and you've almost got a pokemon https://www.insectidentification.org/insect-description.asp?identification=Spiny-Backed-Orb-Weaver
(it was a red-backed jumping spider/Phidippus johnsoni, by the way)
Found this one while trying to identify yesterday's deadly (not really) spider from the front desk.
Am I the only one who saw it and immediately thought ":O pretty"
I scanned this Funky Winkerbean comic 15 years ago for such a time as this.
"IT'S A BLACK WIDOW KILL IT"
1) Widows are nocturnal, and it's 11am.
2) Its legs and fangs are way too big to be a Widow.
3) Widows like to camp in narrows and corners. This one is crawling along a wall.
4) Widows have a red hourglass on their stomach. This one has an orange U-shape on their back.
I thought I could get a break from dad duties at work, but here I am catching a spider someone spotted near the reception desk. So it goes.
Okay, ad choices. I like flossy women's underwear as much as the next person. But one or two things:
1) Not when I'm at work.
2) Not when I'm reading an article on mass shootings.
3) Maybe not WOMEN'S underwear, on account of how I've got an... incompatible form factor.
4) How about you just fuck off altogether? I've never bought anything because I saw it in a banner ad.
I'm learning a ridic amount as I do this. I've since taught myself how to use the Levels tool in photoshop, which means that I already have what I think is a superior image.
*pours 50g of cereal into a bowl*
*opens the milk*
*tastes the milk*
*pours the cereal back into the box*
Kiddo 02 was having trouble sleeping the other day, so I put her in the Tula carrier and took her to Uncle Roman's for Smash Bros. Still kind of amazed she slept through the whole thing.
This is a taste of the wonderland my parents have been caring for getting close to 30 years now. An elderly lady lived here before then and had cultivated an almost wild jungle like yard. Over the decades, mom and dad have made small incremental changes, but largely it still has much of that feel.