oblique nsfw reference, dating, ableism reference (joking about my dating life)
☑️ incredibly bizarre sexual interest
☑️ conventionally unattractive
☑️ baffling relationship with technology
I’m tempted to put “I was supposed to be the villain-protagonist in a Cronenberg movie, but I took a wrong turn and now I’m here” on my dating site profile, but I think it might be misinterpreted
I feel like one of my problems with relationships is an internalized sense that anything I’m open about will be used against me — daring to talk about the embarrassing and difficult parts of my life as a Mad person feels impossible.
This is particularly true with romance; it’s hard to open up to people...
very unsanitary, mh (+)
Recently I’ve been able to make progress on my compulsion to eat food out of garbage/obviously spoiled food from our fridge. I don’t know where it came from, because I’ve never been food insecure, but it’s something I struggle with.
I’m sure my manager is happy too, since I called in with food poisoning like once a month at least for a while >_>
in the context of my childhood writing: sexual violence, police brutality, suicide, bad taste in rap music
I’m revisiting my older writing as part of NaNo prep, and Christ, 13-year-old me was wack. like wtf. this story features:
- explicit sexual violence (but I didn’t understand how sex worked so it’s ???what???)
- the entire cast of Dragonauts: The Resonance, but they’re polyamorous superheroes
- a guy turns into a giant snake and then does a suicide by cop
- briefly, eminem???
Please remember that people can have assigned-sex-atypical traits even if they’re not transitioning and don’t have an intersex or hormonal condition!
Many medications for psychotic people are endocrine disrupters, and can result in us having characteristics not normally seen in our birth assignments. But when it’s between hormonal problems and hallucinating, you tend to pick the former... The world is very complicated like that!
pros of paper books:
- no DRM
- keep it forever
- lend it to friends
- actually yours
- takes up physical shelf space, so I actually read it
pros of ebooks:
- easier to sneakily read at work
- doesn’t take up physical shelf space, so I can have as many as I want
- I own a lot of books in both formats >_>
I wish there was a better way to say that I’m... chronically injured? I’ve had at least one temporary disability at a time for all of my adult life save about three months in 2016, but I don’t have any permanent conditions.
I feel weird calling myself physically disabled, in that technically all of this could clear up at any time, but I also obtain new injuries faster than they can heal, and my doctor doesn’t know why. Presumably I have something that’s not diagnosed, but...
interpersonal drama (-)
My online social circle essentially exploded last week; I’ve lost friends I’ve had for years because I just can’t handle the responsibilities of being their friends anymore.
Today, I made a very uncomfortable confession to a real life friend (two of my close friends are upset with each other, and this is going to be taken as taking a side...)
Kinda sucks, but at the same time, might as well get it all out there...
Luke, 23 (they/him). I’m a computer who programs computers! I also collect dolls. I’m trying to learn soldering!
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