@paideuomai haha, yep. And yeah I lurk sometimes! I basically doubled down on twitter once my autism stuff got visible there, and I've been in a bit of a holding pattern lately, but I like to swing by and see how stuff's going sometimes! :)
@paideuomai Do you do the thing where you sort of think in a graph?
I don't store all the sensory data, can't remember visuals, exact words, etc. Instead, in the moment I tend to store a semantic snapshot that's much lossier.
But! It _immediately_ integrates with the rest of my cognitive models, or "throws an error" e.g. intuitively and precognitively I can tell the information I just received does not quite fit, so either it or my model is wrong.
And my recall is amazing!
@prem they did a big contract with the military and I guess shifted focus?
I realized today that I never fully appreciated Pride in years past. I knew it was important to the queers and I support the queers so I supported Pride - but I couldn't feel it.
This year I finally learned to see how shame has informed and corrupted almost every part of my life. I've become public and vocal about my shame and my struggles, and that spell has been broken for me a bit.
Pride is a celebration of exactly that, for queers.
I'm humbled and awed by you all.
long quote, autism
@verycarapesque this is true. living as neurodivergent means necessarily developing these superpowers because you can't really function without them in your own life. 😕
3) Finally, I republished the pinned post on that subreddit on TheAspergian, where the editor added a bunch of links and cleaned it up a bit. So I'd maybe recommend reading this first, then the others?
2) Given the huge response, I wanted to create a more permanent home for this kind of thing and so I started `/r/autismTranslated` on reddit. The goal is to collect experiences and present autism in a relatable way so that undiagnosed adults can recognize themselves in it:
1) I wrote a twitter thread saying "a lot of you are autistic and don't know it" and described what it feels like to be autistic from the inside. It went a bit viral, and I've received countless DM's from people telling me it answered questions they'd given up on asking.
@verycarapesque So, would you mind if I pointed you at a few resources I've created after working my way past a similar point to the one you're describing?
These are things I wish I'd seen earlier in my life.
@verycarapesque This is the neurodivergent experience. The shame and self-negation that comes from a lifetime of it can be debilitating.
Everything started to change for me when I realized I was autistic - it gave me space to accept my weirdnesses as just who I am, rather than as some odd flaws I couldn't shake.
Have you explored this at all? Might you be on the spectrum?
@verycarapesque yeah. marijuana helps me more than almost anything else I've tried. YMMV, but I hope you find an approach that works for you! :)
@verycarapesque I hear this so fucking clearly.
My therapist told me last night that she thinks that I just experience emotions way more strongly than most people. I think this is correct.
I further suspect that emotions are actually senses calibrated towards internal state, and as such subject to Sensory Processing Disorder just as much as vision or hearing.
Some of us are hypersensitive to some or all feelings, some are hyposensitive, etc.
hot take sure to get me cancelled
@vector I loved js for years but writing ruby the past year has finally shattered my Stockholm syndrome. It's a bad language and it should feel bad.
Hi I made earth a little weirder. Depressive neuroatypical weirdo.
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