the depressing read is always that this never happens simply because not many people are willing to get on board with me with those few basic principles. if you've been listening to me for the past year you know i've been working hard developing theories of oppression and debilitation to give y'all something more of an out. the best-case scenario would be just that y'all are too busy working with each other to have need of my partnership, but we all know that ain't happening right now lol.
but that said, if you DO believe those basic, fundamental things, i ABSOLUTELY am interested in working with you. i wear my abilities pretty wholly on my sleeve, so it's a little—to be expected?—but disheartening that i don't EVER see people up in my mentions—or anyone else's, for that matter—looking to Build. like are we a community or what?? where's the spirit of collaboration??
i'm loud about my beliefs and it's true that i don't ever want to partner up with someone who doesn't hold them. and by beliefs, i mean that: abuse is a problem; we should work to ensure the agency and safety of survivors of violence; all people deserve a liveable life. we might have different priorities, our lives might take us down different paths, our perspectives might diverge, that's all okay. but if you can't agree on those things, i'm out.
there is social GAIN to facing down common enemies
there is social COST to facing down common friends
never ever ever treat those two like the same thing or believe that someone's willingness to do the first says anything about how they will handle the second
never ever ever, even when that someone is you
(these quotes all from <https://feministkilljoys.com/2019/07/22/why-complain/>)
« [←] Some people need to know they have somewhere else to go before they can make a complaint because they know a complaint might lead to them needing to leave. It might be assumed that to leave is to leave a problem behind you. My research suggests otherwise: leaving can be the effect of not putting problems behind you, and leaving (however hard or unchosen) can enable other ways of dealing with problems that are shared. »
« Many of those I have spoken to who went through with formal complaints did end up leaving their posts or programmes. This has something to tell us about the nature of this work: a complaint can make it hard (or in some cases impossible) to stay; a complaint can sever the connections you need to survive and thrive in an environment. Some people I have spoken to who put forward complaints only did so once they knew they were leaving: this also tells us so much about the nature of the work. [→] »
« A common strategy for discrediting a complaint (and perhaps also feminism) is to suggest a complaint is motivated by the desire for punishment; a complainer is often treated not only as a killjoy, as being mean, against pleasure, but also as being punitive. The language of punishment is often used diagnostically, that is, as a way of explaining the psychology of the complainer. [ → ]»
« Talk and letʼs build—but materials and concrete; ideals are æthereal »
white; non-Protestant; trans
i have sworn off sex and dating in 2019
A community that skews thoughtful and weird. Everyone who abides by the code of conduct is welcome, thoughtful weirdos most of all! :)