Pinned toot

pinned introduction 

#ActuallyAutistic

RT 🔐: Survey on Social Camouflaging and Mental Wellbeing in Autism, by a researcher in a group I'm a member of - needs another 100 participants and is particularly short of men: keelepsych.co1.qualtrics.com/j

Just had to go home from work *again* because of office noise. Manager knows it's an issue but he can't make facilities add sound insulation. Or, like, yaknow, walls. I don't want to work from home four days a week, but it looks like the direction this is going. It's scary, because I really don't want this to lead to me leaving the company.

I'm too tired to be dancing right now but I turned on an EBM station to focus and now welp here i cant stop bouncing its so goooood

trans advice request, boosts appreciated 

Oh, shit, wait. This is a special interest thing! One of my coworkers showed up as a character, and I loved it! I'm baffled by most people's costumed because I don't connect at all to their topics!

Like, I still don't think I want to dress up (maaaybe next year? we'll see). But I maybe sorta get it a little better?

Halloween really weirds me out. Like, not unhealthy, just confused. People getting excited about the act of dressing up as random things. Sometimes really well; often mediocre execution. Sometimes just baffling. Like, a coworker is dressed as Student Debt (with a sign-label to make it clear what's going on).

I'm genuinely happy for them. I want them to keep doing this thing that clearly makes them happy. And I'm also mildly uncomfortable and 1000% baffled.

So... is "courage" just a NT version of consciously rejecting some kind social acceptance that auties don't really get (at least not the same way) in the first place? Is "courage" just giving up that privilege? And that's why it seems so impressive to NTs, because they can't imagine operating from a space where it's just... not that relevant?

And it's never made sense to me. A ton of trans people talk about "It doesn't feel like courage; I'm just... existing?" I feel the same way about a million different weird things that I just *do*. Not because I've examined the social impact of them and decided to take the risk and be courageous or whatever. But because... it's just... what I do? Because it doesn't fit in my head *not* to do those things? And those things get called "courageous." And I'm baffled because I didn't... *do* anything.

Like, people talk so much about courage. Especially cis folks talking about trans folks it's always how courageous someone is to transition. And even outside of that, courage to stand up to authority and call them out when they're being jerks or whatever. Courage to do the right thing.

wait courage is just a weird neurotypical thing, is that it?

bad day. overwhelm, dissociate, meltdown (---) 

bad day. overwhelm, dissociate, meltdown (---) 

anyone know of any nickel free pronoun pins (or a place I could order custom printed ones maybe?) (boosts appreciate)

Folks in a coworker slack ragging on Zuck for bring a cyborg. Like, yeah his position means he absolutely deserves heavy scrutiny and criticism. But the best you can come up with is "lol cyborg amirite. he's probably just playing into awkward coder stereotypes" is ableist af.

balancing avoidance/productivity 

Today for the Atlanta Pride Parade I stood in front of the haters and held prettier things in front of their terrible signs. One of the nice things about being a bit of a weirdo for most of my life is that when people are *obviously* terrible I find them really easy to just basically ignore. Bonus: Now I've learned how to use ear defenders and manage my sensory experience better so that parades and such aren't even terribly overwhelming.

Apparently there are loud events in the office for the next two days. Just told my boss that I'm working from home the rest of the week due to their shitty sound insulation. (I used nicer words with him.) I'm fortunate that I work in a job where it isn't a huge problem for me to do that, but honestly I really hate that I have to.

Just left work early. Construction noise plus lobby noise is completely unbearable today, even with anc headphones on. Really frustrated at how work has completely neglected sound insulation in this office.

question for the autistic bubble 

One of those days when other people touching each other is setting off my touch aversion tension.

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