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I've never seen more than 2 or 3 of these in one place before, incredible. (shots of a large half ring of red and white toadstools [fly agaric] around a trer, various sizes and stages, maybe 30 or 40 specimens)

finished these horns which are a gift, theyve turned out better than I expected <3

Auditing sketchbooks at the museum, big up to this drawing of a sun by William Pitt

manly men littering the streets with their stupid shoulders

on my way to volunteer shift. Had reminiscences of all the jobs I've had before that broke me down, trying to figure out what normal looked like & trying to emulate it & failing, trying to pretend I was okay. I've tentatively started thinking of it as 'masking', it's exhausting. Though it might just be self monitoring & anxiety/self image. How can you ever decide if the looks you see in people's eyes are really there? Anyway it's gone okay so far, just hard being in a work environment again.

Carapesque boosted

Normalize quitting things. It could be school, work, relationships, hobbies, or pretty much anything.

Quitting is often thought of as inherently negative; nobody wants to be called a "quitter". But there are plenty of situations where not only is it reasonable, it's the *best* course of action.

You can drop out college or switch majors when you don't care about the thing you're studying. You can end a relationship when it becomes toxic. You can stop playing a game that you don't enjoy.

making demon horns as a gift, they're going better than i feared! leaned into the crudeness of the paper mache and added texture with gesso

birthday lunch organising regret. on my way but i want to stay home and be quiet instead

Carapesque boosted
Carapesque boosted

Good morning friends! Sun still heavily veiled by a swirling milky grey sky, shot through now by soft veins of blue. Cool & clammy, while the yellow flames in the trees burn brighter every day.

An outing day, late birthday lunch for @verycarapesque –eager to see how my growing stamina fares in a practical day-to-day social sitiation, whether noise & interaction still saps me as much as it used to.

May we find unexpected delights today & be ready to welcome them into our hearts!

Carapesque boosted

Good morning friends! Yesterday put me in a sore, gloomy mood, hr upon hr of rain growing heavier like an untuned radio's static hiss turned up & up thru all my senses. Fortunately the sky has rained itself out for now. A wild, open, scrubbed-clean feeling–although clouds are already rolling back into the blue void.

Maybe weather will always have this outsize effect on me–but I'm building deeper reserves to deal w/it.

May we find ways to serve truth & justice in our lives and the world today!

Carapesque boosted

Today's gender is the sound of thunder in the distance.

Carapesque boosted

Good afternoon friends! Another grey brackish kind of morning–though day by day there's more blue sky, & churned up bogs on the earth tracks are shrinking bit by bit. Saw both a heron & a luminously white egret prowling the banks.

Changing routine is leaving me a bit wobbly but so far a little less physically worn out at least. Walked to the reservoir again–which still gives me a great glow of pride as a once-unimaginable feat.

May we find balance & gentleness for ourselves & each other today!

Carapesque boosted

Bonus 2! I kinda like the way my poor phone can't really capture detail in the brightness of an egret's plumage, it captures the experience of seeing them in person better than a clear photo could.

Oh yeah, I got the volunteer role, had induction this week and start on Monday :) going to be looking through cabinets of old paper in the back of a museum. Very nice.

I don't know how to catch up with people having been away for ages :')

Still not sleeping more than 5 hours a night and my brain is disintegrating, lamotrigine pretty much eliminating my depression though so I really don't want to come off it. I'm hoping stress & upheaval will settle down eventually and I'll be able to sleep...

Carapesque boosted
Carapesque boosted

Good morning friends! A little colder+crisper this morning, making the damp easier to bear than the stultifying closeness that persisted all yesterday. Grey sky full of rents & ribbons of pale morning blue. Agitiated squirrels shaking boughs as they bark & chase through the trees, robins too busy to notice me until I'm a metre away.

Feeling more together today–body freer & stronger, thoughts becoming more joined up & lucid. Hoping to draw later.

May we find new joys & new opportunities today!

Carapesque boosted

Good morning friends! Deluge overnight, & grey skies foreboding more to come. In the woods brooks & streams surge past their courses, brown vortices of muddy water rumbling & roaring as they slowly swallow up blackened tree trunks.

Turns out I'm getting to my limits w/exercise in terms of daily function–after I work out my body is used up & I was in a vague soft state of dissociation for a lot of the afternoon. Slowly stepping down is next, to find the balance.

May we have hope & health today!

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