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i want to throw my phone off a bridge, but i also don't want to be alone

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'You might think that you're scared. But that's your sharpness. That's your power.' cptn camina drummerx the expanse

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I take a lot of pictures of the sky and usually people ignore me or look askance but as I took one today a woman near me in the parking lot stopped, looked at the sky, and said “My god, it is beautiful, isn’t it,” and took a picture of her own

sleeping meds 

Maybe I'll try to document what I see on my walks. Mirror jmz' night time thoughts a bit. It did feel good, rescuing a bee makes the whole day seem okay. Why does he have to be so ZEN.

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Hey comrades, I'm a poor Latinx lesbian asking for $350 for rent. My several small jobs have dipped down for summer and I'm scrambling to look for more work

I'm the most scared in a year I won't have enough to cover me and my gf

It's also the anniversary of Pulse. Donate to brown queer fam. Please boost. Share with friends who may have the means to help us #mutualaid #donate

Venmo: amelia_leviosa
Cash App: $hamsterpower

I gave a floor bee a flower, it drank it, then another one. It climbed on my thumb and I yelled until I got it onto a bush on another flower. Then it flew. that was good. Then me & @paralithode met a small local cat again who yelled at us and got cuddles. She let him pet her this time after a while, she was wary of the walker/rollator. Met her owner too.

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all artists should struggle constantly to create work which is fascinating but also obviously extremely bad

MH (-) 

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Maybe I should just apply and figure it out later. I hope they get back to me about expected commitment though. They probably have a lot of competition from actual marine biology students etc.

I want to learn to drive and then do this. But it feels impossible. Everything feels impossible. Even though I drew today, walked 2 miles, went to the gym. Spent the afternoon crying in bed, then pacing& agitated. Why am I like this?

I really really want to volunteer as a guide at a marine aquarium. The nearest one is an hour and 40 mins away and I don't drive. They're advertising for volunteers thougb. It is in the city one of my partners is moving to but I don't know if, say, a weekly commitment/stopover would be appropriate/possible. God I'd love to do it. It doesn't say how many shifts they'd want you to do. Weekly would *maybe* be possible, I could get coaches/beg to stay over. I've emailed to ask.

Although I've felt sad & consumed with worries lately, it seems like my social anxiety is better. I don't feel panicky before I have to interact with people, or when in the waiting room at the doctor's, which used to mean a guaranteed anxiety attack.

Woke up too early blergghh. Feel slightly sleep deprived in that particularly yucky way. Planning to try going for a short walk in the mornings, see if I'm capable of self motivated structure now, and for mindfulness. Not sure whether to do it before or after showering.

Sleater Kinney coming back to the UK next year, waaaaah. New album too. Haven't looked into either yet.

Gone mad and put in a CFS/ME support group meetup, lunch with a local zine scene person and a bisexual board game social in my diary for next week.

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